On the #1 Bus

Whatever happened to unobstructed views?

Who decided it was a good idea to slap advertisements on bus windows?

Will it ever stop raining?

As the #1 bus trundled down 6th Avenue

on a soakingly grim Sunday,

passengers were few,

the air was thick with moist, shared breath,

and I had questions . . .

questions that were abruptly interrupted

when the bus lurched to a stop 

at 6th and Stevens.

The doors swung open, and our driver announced

that there was a vivid double-rainbow

hanging just behind us.

We should all hop off to take a look, he said.

And so it was that an improbable Holy Trinity gathered that day:

a silver-crowned crone, a testy teen with a nose ring of gold,

and our mild-mannered driver ~

transformed for an instant into our High Priest of Awe ~

all standing next to the #1 bus on 6th Avenue,

savoring the unexpected,

the fleeting hues of mystery,

the arcing brilliance of colors split . . .

before they dissolved back into the drear

and the bus ride continued

on a Sunday that was no longer grim.

Ordinary Mystery

So many years later

Daddy's roses still grow wild

on the old back fence.

Adorning my backpack

as I wander over to Trader Joe's

they make the elusive mystery of eternal life

a bit more accessible.

Father's Day 2023

_______________________________

misterio ordinario

Tantos años después

las rosas de Papá crecen silvestres

en la cerca de atrás.

Adornando mi mochila

mientas camino a Trader Joe's

hacen que el misterio elusivo de la vida eterna

sea un poco más accesible.

Día de los Padres 2023

Moon Dance

When moon dancing

in the fully bright-bursting, shimmery-silver

liquified sunbeams of lunar plenitude,

celebrate, too, the ever-returning blessing of the dark,

the sacred inky-black of the disappearing wane.

Hold them both, ebony-shine shifting.

The dance will be richer for it.

Hold them together, like a prayer flowing.

Hold them reverently, as a reminder

that reflecting light is a risky business,

and exuberant waning is perplexing to most.

Bless the paradox circling as it honors Mystery

with raucous howls and gentle rest and care,

holy movement that subtly shatters rigidity

and always risks the moon-shining

reverent irreverence that blesses us all.

New Moon, December 2022

____________________________________

Moon Dance

Danza a la luz de luna

Cuando bailas a la luz de luna

en la plenitud lunar de rayos solares licuados,

reflejando brillantes-quebrantes-plateados --

celebra, a la vez, la bendición recurrente de la sagrada oscuridad,

la luna menguante, negra-ébana.

Sostén a los dos, ébano-brillo turnándose.

Hará más vívida la danza.

Sostenlos juntos, como una oración fluida.

Sostenlos juntos, para recordarte

que reflejar la luz es un asunto arriesgado,

y menguar con exuberancia confunde a muchos.

Bendice la paradoja circulando que honra el Misterio

con aullidos apasionados y descanso suave,

movimiento sagrado que quiebra sutilmente la rigidez

y siempre toma el riesgo de moon-shining

la reverencia irreverente que nos bendice a todos. 

Luna nueva, Diciembre 2022

Journey

The answer to your heartfelt question

is no answer at all.

I'm sorry.

I know you're at your wit's end

and I can feel your frustration.

But did you know that monarch butterflies migrate thousands of miles,

just to survive?

Or that Orion, that fierce hunter of the wintry sky, looks surprisingly like a butterfly

if you tilt your head sideways

and look just so?

Now a menacing hunter ~

ready to clobber you into oblivion,

now a sunlit butterfly ~

ready to fire up your senses with ecstatic beauty. 

Chew on that for a while.

There might be an answer in there somewhere

in how a feather-light monarch

(for surely she is a migrant)

moves amiably with a well-armed giant

(though perhaps his ferocity is mostly for show)

how they twirl around a star-twinkly sky, taking turns in the dance,

showing different faces, 

and never, ever arriving.

How their endless journey still makes us shout with delight

whenever we spot them:

the mighty hunter and the cosmic butterfly ~

wheeling steadily downward into the void,

night after night,

leaving behind a mysterious trail of awe.

________________________

Jornada

La respuesta a tu pregunta sincera

es que no hay respuesta.

Lo siento.

Sé que estás desesperado

y puedo sentir tu frustración.

¿Pero sabías que las mariposas monarca migran miles de millas para sobrevivir?

O que Orión, ese cazador feroz del cielo invernal, se parece a una mariposa

si inclinas la cabeza y miras justo así? 

Ahora, un cazador amenazante ~ 

listo para darte un golpe al infinito,

ahora una mariposa alumbrada ~

lista para encender tus sentidos con una hermosura extática.

Piensa un momento en eso.

Es posible que encuentres una respuesta ahí escondida

en una monarca ligera

(pues seguramente es una migrante)

moviendo amablemente alrededor de un gigante bien armado

(pero puede que su ferocidad sea principalmente fingida)

como giran por un cielo estrellado-brillando, turnándose en el baile,

mostrando caras diferentes, jamás llegando.

Como su jornada sin fin todavía nos hace gritar emocionados

cuando los espiamos:

el cazador imponente y la mariposa cósmica ~

girando sin tregua hacia abajo al vacío,

noche tras noche,

dejando una huella misteriosa de asombro.

Grandma's Sweater

 

Grandma’s sweater rests on my shoulders like a prayer shawl, 

warming the heart-mystery-memories

she wove into my soul. 

Grandma’s sweater is a sacred vestment. 

I kiss it before I put it on. 

Grandma’s sweater speaks with a lilting Italian accent,

shape-shifting into haunting melodies of the Old Country, 

never to be seen again. 

Grandma’s sweater is black, dotted with embroidered daisies

from the International Ladies’ Garment Union. 

How could they have known that their beauty 

would keep blossoming in my dreams? 

Grandma’s sweater is love and prayer, 

the reassuring clunking of her sturdy old lady shoes

on the basement steps. 

Grandma’s sweater swaddles me with hope 

when tentacles of fear threaten to squeeze all joy from my life.

Grandma’s sweater has pockets, as all good sweaters should, 

to carry the essentials: 

emergency tissues, a spare rosary,  

and a little something sweet in case the kids stop by. 

I think the pockets are magic. 

Maybe prayer shawls should have magic pockets, too.

In loving memory of our wonderful Nonna Rose. Ti vogliamo bene!

Delta Dawn

                                 Painting by James Manning, M.D. Used with permission.

Let me tell you, 

I'm just so tired.

Not that you'd care at this point

as terror eclipses what's left of your thoughts,

black saucered eyes wide open

then narrowing, squeezing  

into pinpoint focus

the strangling craving for breath and life

as the invader tube sears your throat so you can

Breathe, dammit, breathe!

Frantic gasp of ragged air

releasing the pent up arrogance

that slithers to the floor

seeping, spreading, poisoning

(though none of that vaccine poison entered your body,

thank you very much)

But I'm so tired ~ did you ever think of me?

My shoes can't avoid the slime, 

can't dodge the venom of the lies as I slog through 

what remains of your deadly ignorance.

Let me tell you,

because I'm just so tired.

Sad and angry, too

as I cradle your head and 

hear your (soon to be) widow sobbing:

In your stupor you declared your right to do as you please.

But you forgot that the air we breathe is a shared gift

and this was never, ever, just about you.

______________________________

Delta Dawn

                                  Pintura de James Manning, M.D. Usada con permiso.

Déjame decirte,

estoy tan cansada.

A estas alturas sé que no te importa

porque el terror eclipsa lo que queda de tus pensamientos

tus ojos transformados en platillos negros

fijos, abiertos,

estrechándose, apretando

al foco de puntito

las ansias rezando por el aire y la vida,

mientras el tubo invasor arde tu garganta para que puedas

¡Respira, maldita sea, respira!

Bocanada frenética de aire 

soltando la arrogancia acumulada

que se culebrea al suelo

calándose, moviendo despacio, envenenando,

(aunque no tienes nada de esa vacuna tóxica en tu cuerpo,

verdad?)

Pero estoy tan cansada ~ ¿Jamás pensaste en mí?

Mis zapatos no pueden evitar la baba,

no pueden esquivar el veneno de las mentiras

mientras me esfuerzo por lo que queda

de tu ignorancia mortífera.

Déjame decirte,

porque estoy tan cansada.

Triste y enojada tambien

mientras acarico tu cabeza y

escucho a tu (ya pronto) viuda sollazando:

En tu estupor declaraste tu derecho a hacer lo que quieras.

Pero se te olvidó que el aire que respiramos es un regalo compartido

y esto nunca, jamás ha sido solamente acerca de ti.

Here Comes the Sun

Hop on your bike

and take your soul out for a little spin.

Be sure to wear sunflowers

(and not much else)

Shed the over-stuffed suffocating duty-coat and

peel those weighted lament-layers off your back.

Go ahead. Don't be shy.

Strip the worry and regret down to

the very core of your being.

Be ruthless,

then wildly fling the whole sacred mess into the

summer-alchemy of glorious sun-fire.

It is the time of our earth-orb's joy-tilt to the light.

¡Shine!

The darkness will return soon enough. 

Don't postpone delight.

(Remembering riding with the naked cyclists in the Fremont Solstice Parade, 2017. 

May this joyous celebration return next year!)

____________________________________

Ahí viene el sol

Sube a tu bici

y da una vuelta con tu alma.

Ponte girasoles

(y no mucho más)

Suelta el sofocante abrigo del deber y

quita de tu espalda esas capas cargadas del arrepentimiento.

Ándale. No seas tímido.

Pela la preocupación y lamento hasta

el centro de tu ser.

Sé despiadado,

y lanza este sagrado revoltijo al

alquimia-veraniega del glorioso fuego-sol.

Es el tiempo del solsticio,

nuestro orbe-tierra inclinando alegre

hacia la luz.

¡Brilla!

La oscuridad regresará antes que te des cuenta.

No pospongas el deleite.

(Recordando mi experiencia de andar con los ciclistas desnudos en el desfile de solsticio en Fremont, 2017. 

Espero que regrese esta celebración el año que viene!)